This blog is dedicated to what real friendship has meant to me and why it is important.
My previous entree was really depressing to say the least, but it was needed to let off steam in a non-destructive manner. I feel much much better now. This is mainly because of the REAL FRIENDS I have in my life.
This whole blog (My Journey in Life) would have never started if I did not have real friends in my life. When I say real friends, I am not talking about those people you greet friendly and talk about the general pains of life. In my life, in my world, I have that with almost everyone, but I know not everyone has that approach. When I am talking about REAL FRIENDS, I am talking about those people that when life hits you hard and you feel broken and destroyed, they start running to you while many others run away. Many times you do not even need to say anything, they pick it up and start running immediately. When they arrive, they don’t criticize or judge. They don’t evaluate if I am worthy of their love, they just give it without expecting anything back. They only supply advice if I request advice from them, because they know that I do not need a logic answer to my circumstance. I need a caring shoulder to cry upon and let all the bad thoughts in my head surface, so that the light can come and consume them like fire consuming dead foliage. When they do give advice they use humility and understanding to make sure we are on the same page but if I am making mistakes and I’m unaware of it, they will also tell me to gently investigate my own heart to make me aware of the destructive behavior I am exercising.
These real friends are rare. Their value can never be estimated correctly, which leaves me to define their value as priceless. Which they are. No amount of Gold or Diamonds can give me the same support and security that these REAL FRIENDS have already given me.
One of these REAL FRIENDS supported me to such an extent during my emotional disconnection and farewell with Lumin, that I could learn the source of one the deepest recurring patterns in my life. Something that I could feel and slightly understand, yet could never diagnose. Very gently she showed me, through her own life and in my life why she thinks this could be the source of my emotional turmoil. She was spot on and in a moment, it felt like another one of the huge puzzles I was trying to solve in my life, just got it’s center piece in place! In rational terms, it is defined as Cognitive Dissonance. It seems like a complex word and it can be, but in short it is when you have two incompatible believes in your mind and you don’t know which one you really believe. Because you can’t choose, your mind jumps from the one to the other continuously and the more cardinal this belief is for you, the greater the pressure and faster mental deterioration you will experience. It felt like: That is my life’s issues summed up in two words! This friend has most likely changed the course of my journey to a better road, one with more understanding and self awareness. Not just my life but eternity, for I look at my beliefs and other’s beliefs very differently now.
This is not the first time this specific friend has changed my course. In a much darker and confusing part of my life, she again put everything aside to come running after me and just listen and care. I experienced no other intentions from her other than to just be there for me. She gently said that whatever I was experiencing, she feels slight deception somewhere. In this little word, “Deception”, said so gently, she started a new thought in my confused mind. One that grew and finally enabled the confusion to fade. You see, I was so deceived but did not even realize it. I would have listened to no one else, because of the deception, but because of her, her real, loving and relentless friendship, God could start unbinding my misunderstanding. If I did not know her history and parents, I would have thought she was nothing less than a real Angel. Angels are messengers of God. Which she was then and still is today, but rest assured she is human (before you call the NCIS or something), it just revealed to me that every now and then, God speaks directly through her, without her even necessarily knowing. That’s just how He rolls. He works in the unseen but when His Work comes to pass, you cannot help but stand back and declare: “This is a miracle, only God could do this”. His fingerprints becoming visible. I have found that God loves to hang out with me and my real friends. I think He enjoys His children’s laughter and love. I am not always aware of His presence, but I know He is there and when I do become aware, my heart enlarges like a hot air balloon and I rise into the sky with Him.
I feel like the most blessed person on earth to have a few of these REAL FRIENDS in my life. You can never have too many, but because they are so rare, you will always at most have but a few. Another one of these real friends was in the cult with me. I ‘evangelized’ her into the cult but God had other plans. He used the two of us, in a really miraculous way, to bring down the whole international organization’s power, without us even knowing. When we found out, we could do nothing but just cry in disbelief, yet inexpressible gratitude. Another friend was the first one ever that I have told I was gay, me and him have been friends for more than 14 years now (I’m almost 28), so half of my life he has been there. Both of us have been to hell and back (matter of expression) but hand in hand which enabled a friendship to grow so deeply, that it feels like nothing can uproot it. Both of us continuously being molded and sharpened by each other. These three people (I have a few more real friends, but these three specifically), have transformed my life drastically and I really do believe that God has been part of that transformation every single time, even if they do not even realize it.
Finally I just want to say that none of these REAL FRIENDSHIPS are a one sided deal. We both fall down and we both help each other up. I always try my best to extend the same REALNESS that they give me. I am sensitive to their cries for help, as they are for mine. I enjoy spending time with them, every time, and I believe they feel the same way. The biggest problem in our friendships are that there just seems to never be enough time. When we build our friendships, God is part of it, He weaves and teaches us how to love and therefore I believe that these friendships are already in His Eternal Books. Even though these friendships reach deep into my being, I get the feeling, that these are just small sprouts compared to what God has planned for us in Eternity. Unimaginable joy and love, He will use our Real Friends for. It is in these relationships where I learn more about Love and acceptance. About sacrifice and what life really is all about. Where to find my peace and how to treat others. Every time I meet them, my heart is stronger and life just makes sense. I can see God’s finger prints in their lives and reassures me that He will hold them and myself close to His Heart, to the end of life and the rest of eternity. The communion between believers, is what I experience with them, a.k.a. Church in biblical terms.
Life is about relation and I believe that was one of Jesus’ main teachings. He said that the greatest law of all is: “Love your God with all your heart, mind and strength and your neighbor as yourself.” This is also referred to as the Law of Christ, which some biblical scholars believe, including me, that in it, it fulfilled all the other laws. The other laws were just shadows and instructions of how to apply this one law.
I pray that while you are reading this and you don’t have friends like these, that God will make you aware of who this could be in your life while He simultaneously prepares the other person’s heart for it as well. That you may learn the Law of Christ together, which will transform your life forever and become a Light for the world to see and find shelter and Love. I testify of experiencing this already and I cannot wait to see where God is taking us next.