I am NOT okay… I promise

When they ask: “How are you?”

With a convincing smile, I would say: “I am good thanks and you?” subtly moving the object of the discussion away from myself. Why do I do this sometimes? Well, the answer is simple: Most people don’t care. Most people are too trapped in their own little worlds to even see beyond the tip of their own noses. Even when they do see further, they don’t know exactly how to react to it, so I place them in difficult circumstances by telling them the reality. No, it is better for me to reach out to others, to understand them, than it would be for me to expect others to reach out to me and understand me.

It is in times like these, where I go into a shell. I protect myself through doing this. I know this is not sustainable, but for now, it seems like the best option, as depending on other people to help me, will only lead to more pain.

Please take note, that not all people are like this. I have a few really great friends that really do care and would listen to me go on for hours on my problems and respond with a lot of care. I am referring to the daily acquaintances I have. Let me not expect them to go beyond the boundary they have put down for our ‘relationship’.

I just had to rant… So for everyone, that will never read this blog:

“I AM NOT OKAY”

 

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