Since I can remember I have always had an interest in the ‘supernatural’. It has been one of my biggest desires, as a kid, to be swept away into some magical world. I also had an insanely strong imagination. From a psychological point of view, this could possibly be explained by the fact that my family life was insecure and to cope with all this, I escaped by entering into this ‘imagined’ world. I have learned though, that psychology is looking from the outside into a test tube, like dissecting a frog. You cannot cut open and see how the frog works when the frog is still alive. So when psychology looks at these things and form their theories, they don’t see the whole picture as the frog is dead, they cannot experience what the person in question is experiencing.
When I was a boy, barely starting with school, I did not really have any ‘human’ friends, but I was not lonely. Almost everyday after school, I would be outside, playing in the sand, walking through the garden and using my imagination to see wonder in every small thing. I could play with my toys for hours on end, busy telling stories of magnificent proportions that no one else would ever know about. Every time I came back, the story would continue and in this way, I think it would feel similar to how kids today watch their cartoon series.
These toys, games and activities were more than just an idea or theory, they were part of my reality. More than all of these, I had a ‘friend’ which lived in the wind. Once I started singing in the choir in grade 1, I felt that when I sing, the friend in the Wind would sing with me. I started spending hours outside playing while singing with the Wind. The more I felt the song’s emotion/energy, the more I would notice the wind blowing stronger. The wind was my friend. It felt like he communicated with me through the movement of leaves/branches or as I feel him blow over me.
I also felt like he taught me how to create ‘spells’ and I used to write down the different spells. Remember, back then there was no internet and I had no access to any information regarding ‘spells’. I also learned how to call to the wind. It is a specific sound I would make to call him. I learned this from him when I was grade 2. The strangest thing happened when I was grade 6 and we had a substitute teacher for history. A very old man, but his passion for history got us all interested in history. The one day he then told us that the old people (his grandparents) used to call the wind so that the rain can come on their farms and nourish the fields! He then made the sound that they used to call it and it was exactly the same way I called the wind! It was so strange to me, since no one ever taught me accept the wind himself. I did not believe I controlled the wind, but rather that the wind listened to me and cared for me.
When I was in grade 3, I started making friends with some classmates and I did not get as much chance to play with the wind as I used to and it became a lesser part of my life. Even though it was lesser, I sensed the wind’s presense and would frequently spend time with him throughout my primary school (till I was about 13). The belief I took hold of as an adult is that it was just my imagination that manifests in something that I really longed for, a caring friend. If I listen to my heart though, I know it was much more than just my own imagination. The mysterious and supernatural draws me to itself as I cannot accept that life is just what we can see with our physical eyes, there must be MUCH MORE.
My imagination also made itself very well known while I was sleeping in the form of dreams. I have most of my life had intense vivid dreams that I would be able to remember. When I was a kid, some of those dreams were so intense that I can remember them as if it was a clear memory of yesterday. Some of the dreams were so real and deeply meaningful that I started believing that they must be more than just dreams. I had many good dreams where I was flying or having fun, others I would almost be like an observer of people and places I have never seen in my life. Others still were very scary which paralyzed me with fear. Some dreams I would even have the ability of telekinesis. One of the dreams that I remember as clear as day was when I was about 9 years old. I was at the primary school and my parents were with me there. They were crying and saying that they will miss me, but I courageously said that they need not to worry, this is what I was meant to do. In the dream I was voluntarily given myself up to be crucified with a handful of people in the school. Picking up my cross and following God (even though in my small logic mind, I had no idea that is what the dream was saying back then). After I got on the cross and died in the dream, I was suddenly in ‘space’, where I could see thousands of stars around me and I am in a cue to go through a white hole at the start of the que. The man in front of me had white shining robes on and felt like he was an angel, but he had no wings. As a kid, I assumed that the man in front of me will know where we are going. So I asked him, “Where are we going?”, he then replied: “We are on our way to Heaven”. Just before he climbed through the white hole/portal, I asked him: “Am I going to heaven when I die?”, his answer has bothered me since that day, since he said, “Maybe” and disappeared through the portal and I woke up. This dream played a major role later in my life when I got involved in the cult, but I had many many dreams that were as vivid as this one most of my life. In recent years I have been able to sometimes control a dream completely, which they call Lucid Dreaming where I can experience anything I want to.
In the scientific field we do not know exactly why we dream, it remains a bit of a mystery. Evolutionists theorize that we dream as this gives us a virtual playground where we can learn how to deal with our present dangers and overcome them, so that we can overcome them in the ‘real’ world as well. This theory makes sense, but it remains that, a theory. Theories change over time and get replaced as we see and discover more about the investigated object. Science believed that Earth was flat at one point. Then it realized we are spherical (more oval/elliptic). It thought that we were the center of the universe, just to later realize that we are not even in the center of our own solar system, but like a spec of dust in a random part of our galaxy, which is but one galaxy of a billion other KNOWN galaxies. Then Science theorized that the universe is eternal. It has always existed and always will. This theory was so strongly accepted that Einstein fudged his equations so that the universe looks eternal, but after the evidence became overwhelming, he confessed that he fudged the equation. The correct equation revealed that the universe had a beginning and is expanding in size. In recent years they have revealed that the universe is not just expanding, but the expansion is accelerating, exponentially! Current science does not have solid theories as to why this is happening. The mathematics of matter and energy in space does not add up and the center of a black hole is impossible to comprehend with our mathematical system. In engineering the Second Law of Thermodynamics can be summed up as Entropy: The law that energy will always become more disordered (lower energy state) and why everything in life deteriorates over time. Our cells start losing their capability to copy 100% correctly and over time their life span decreases and we age, to eventually die (Talomere lengths of red bood cells decrease). This law is therefore used in all systems to explain the efficiency and degrading of itself and the law can never be broken according to the theory. Last year some scientists proved, theoretically, that this law could be BROKEN!!! We cannot begin to understand what this means for energy efficiency or even life itself.
I am saying all these things to show that theories are great to use and understand our world, but all theories have flaws and we should take note of these flaws so that we do not lift theories up to the level of absolute truth, like we do so many times. The world is much more mysterious than we think, but to understand it, we create theories in the form of mental models to simplify the world, so that we can control and work in it. It just takes one specific discovery or experience to destroy the theory and possibly, destroy your whole reality.